Jan 6th - A Collection of Stories and Laments

Jan 6th - A Collection of Stories and Laments

Episode Summary

Bonus Episode - A Collection of Stories and Laments as we come to the anniversary of the Jan 6th 2021 Insurrection at the US Capitol.

Put together and collaborated while on Occupied Suquamish Territory:

"We would like to begin by acknowledging that the land on which we gather is within the aboriginal territory of the suq̀wabš “People of Clear Salt Water” (Suquamish People). Expert fisherman, canoe builders and basket weavers, the suq̀wabš live in harmony with the lands and waterways along Washington’s Central Salish Sea as they have for thousands of years. Here, the suq̀wabš live and protect the land and waters of their ancestors for future generations as promised by the Point Elliot Treaty of 1855."

Episode Notes

We have a special bonus episode today as we remember one year ago and the Jan 6th (2021) insurrection at the capitol. We’ve asked former guests, friends and colleagues what they remember about this day? What this event meant to them? How they are feeling a year later.

Hearing the words, stories and tears from each of the folks who’ve taken the time to lend their voice to this project has been a powerful lament. Maggie has felt them deeply within her body.

So because of this was a traumatic event and these are stories recounting trauma responses, you the listener may also experience mild to significant discomfort. Please consider good self care, be mindful of yourself and taking breaks as needed.

Here is the number for a national mental health care hotline, if you need to talk to someone

1-800-273-8255

Maggie start us off by reading an excerpt from her journal:

"Jan 6, 2021 Honestly I’ve got too many words and thoughts for what has transpired today. Trump supporters, radicalized and encouraged by Trump, rioted, broke into the US Capitol and sought to stop the counting of the electoral votes claiming election fraud. “An Election was stolen,” Trump said. 4 Dead. Many arrested. I’m completely shocked at the scary and dangerous level of these “nationalists.” Really, it’s the stuff we hear about happening in other countries. This is the world we brought our children into? Wow. I want to have hope in our government but I clearly cannot. I want to see change led by the church, but I do not.

"Where are you God and what are you up to? Your endless patience, long suffering and waiting for someone to partner with… I just don’t think humankind has got enough for you to work with right now. [And yet] even as I write this I know it to not be true. [Once] again I’m looking in the wrong place.

"God show me. I know in my head you are good and you are near. I can’t feel you. I can’t see you. Help me. I want you to make all things new. Have you started? I know you’re doing things in my family and in me… but what is [happening in] the big picture? Where is the grand finale, the great reversal, the coming of your upside-down kingdom?

"These are strange and wild times. Division is palpable. I can feel myself want to withdraw inward, to hole up and focus on “just my little world,” but I know this is not the way.

Maggie said she remembers in the days and months following that day, the haunting and disturbing images on the news and in social media. "I felt sick, disgust, anxious and afraid. Truly afraid for the uncertain times ahead."

She says some of these feels continue even into this morning reading the news regarding the investigation that there is “significant testimony” that Trump’s own daughter asked him to intervene and stop what was happening at the capitol and he refused. "The disgust and fear around how much evil was at work that day is scary, even a year later."

Written Statement (No Audio Available):

Though I wasn't in front of the news last January 6, the tension in the air was palpable. As the day unfolded, I found myself in shock & disbelief as the nation's Capitol was overrun by What appeared to be primally driven, animistic behavior. There was nothing I could scrape together in my

Mind to make sense of the behavior. I was not aware these events were to take place. I attempted to make sense of the whole in shock, anguish, and disgust. The right was blaming the left. Groups claiming a "few bad apples" ruined the intended peaceful rally. I do not believe that small collective accurately represent entire organizations or people groups.

Nevertheless, I was horrified as I continued to read about gallows, a noose, and defecation. How do we turn a blind eye to something so horrific? I find myself in an interesting place. The masses of my friends have chosen to spend the last number of years learning, growing, understanding, and attempting to change this nation's shameful history of racial exploitation and misogynistic white structures.

Being white, it would be remiss for me not to name the times I have felt I am not a part of this. And yet, if I'm honest, heartbreakingly, I am. There are no two ways about it. We all are.

At times I have quietly listened as the events and ramifications of that day have been discussed; other times, I have not been so quiet. For me, nausea and sadness, coupled with anger, caused questions to roll over and over in my mind. How in the world are the events of that day be considered a step toward making America great again, and not a permanent stain on who we are, And how far we have to go?

Written Statement #2 (audio available):

January 6, 2021 I found myself at home, just a regular old pandemic living type of day. I bathed my kids, nursed my "baby" for the last time, I baked a loaf of sourdough bread, all while trying not to draw my kids attention to the constant news that was playing in the background.

As I watched both the news covering the insurrection at the capital and the footage of the Trump rallies nearby I would jump back-and-forth between the two events and also to commentary from several major news networks. My body was tense, I remember feeling torn and anxious and worried and almost displaced from reality. Something in me needed to SAY something or DO something especially because many around me or not or were downplaying what we were watching unfold.

I took to my Facebook page and wrote the status update "This is terrorism, white privilege, idol worship, and insurrection on full display. To not denounce it is harmful."

As I look at it now and recount the comments posted in reply. I look at the 'reactions' chosen by people and I wonder did they use the angry face because they were angry at what was happening, or at me for calling it like I was seeing it. I look back at those reactions a year later and I still am not certain. I remember learning about the term "terrorism" and the complicated nature of the word itself. Using it to describe what happened on January 6, I learned, could have serious ramifications for BIPOC individuals and even on legistaltion. I’m so thankful for the folks who took time to teach about this, and also glad I recorded my learning in the comments because I can revisit how important that type of leraning was and is. I also didn't just dirty delete something, the folks in the thread to follow along as my understanding developed and changed. As I learned that using the word terrorism for this type of event can be harmful, even if at the time it was the most accurate word I had for what I was watching, people in the comments learned with me. I also see now that my gut reaction of calling this "white nationalism" or an "insurrection" were accurate.

I lost friends because of that thread, some in person and some online friends. But, I don’t regret calling it what it was. In fact I’m really grateful for the people who also did the same, when I asked my friends what they were doing or remember from this day a year ago one said, "I remember feeling terrible about the event but I felt equally terrible about my Christian peers saying nothing." That struck me and upon reflection I’m glad my instincts were to cry out even if it wasn’t an actionable step and especially because it led me to a deeper understanding.

I recall jumping into text threads and asking others “are you seeing this to?” “What are we watching unfold?” And the sad part is our guts were right. I remember the prophetic voices in my life years prior predicting it would all go this way. Who then were there giving accurate insights into what was happening, never saying "I told you so," but instead helping us process, think about what we could do to keep POC around us safe, anticipating what else might come next. What a sacred and devastating place to be.

Now a year later it is not lost on me that January 6 is the 12th day of Christmas where some celebrate the day of epiphany. One year later I find myself in this tension again celebrating and mourning, questioning and wondering. Reading the updates about what Congress is unearthing around this event, wishing and hoping we could know the full truth of what actually went down and realizing we may never know except for what we saw with our own eyes… And even that feels complicated because everybody’s lived experience and perception is their own reality and everyone saw it so differently. I still find myself anxious and in knots when thinking about what happened and what has or has not happened since. The tension is palpable and the devastation unresolved.

Written Statement (no audio):

"Just saw some pictures from January 6th. Got physically sick. I am not going to do a recording, As a survivor of 48 years with malignantly narcissistic men...it was very familiar nightmare I watched unfold that day. And, the consequent gas lighting of too many. Blatant abuse. And, even then people would keep him in office. Its is beyond words for me. Heart sick."